A Lasting Feeling
by Optimus Magnus
Summary: A small peice I wish to have feedback for.  Only my best ever hits this site, so enjoy


A Lasting Feeling  
  
Notes and disclaimers: Like all fics, most of what we use is property of Gainex. The song 'Who Wants to Live Forever' is property of Queen (I like Queen, so expect many song fics from me to use a Queen song if applicable)  
  
There's no time for us, There's no place for us, What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us.  
  
Rei stood motionless in the background as Ritsuko revealed the most closely guarded secrets in Nerv to the one person who really cared about her; Shinji Ikari. Misato was not with them and Shinji was alone to face what Dr. Akagi was showing him. It was an unprecedented event in Rei; she felt fear, hopelessness and was almost pushed to tears by the actions taken by her long time nemesis and if she had not been in danger of discovery, she would have attacked the scientist. Ritsuko smiled as she led Shinji to the room that only four living beings had access to: The Dummy Plug room, this time Rei did cry [Now he'll know, he'll know I am but a husk of what a real person should be like. Why?], she thought. Shinji stared in horror at the scene before him: a tank filled with bodies that looked exactly like Rei, but the reaction the doctor got wasn't the one she was expecting "What did you do to her?" he paused and grabbed Ritsuko by her collar and shoved her into a wall, his strength increased by adrenaline and anger "WHAT DID YOU DO TO THAT GIRL YOU BICTH?" he screamed with great force, stunning not only the scientist but also the silent onlooker, Shinji slapped Ritsuko and stormed out of the room.  
  
Who wants to live forever, Who wants to live forever ... ? There's no chance for us, It's all decided for us, This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.  
  
Shinji stood on the mountain where he and Rei had fought Ramiel; the Angel of Thunder and won. It was also the place where they had shared a sweet moment, and all because a certain someone had thought her life worth nothing and now he knew why [What an awful feeling, its like being immortal. To be surrounded by such horrors and coldness. No wonder she seems so unhappy] he thought and rammed his SDAT volume up to the highest volume he could possibly drag out of it: the song 'Hammer To Fall' was playing to him as he sat down at the exact spot where he had stood and told her that it was too sad to say goodbye before going on a mission and asked her to smile, a memory he had kept close to his heart since he saw it. Unlike his memories of Asuka's smile, dazzling that they were like sunshine, even her worst enemy Toji had made such a comment, but Rei's was like a ray of moonlight, soft and delicate, yes it was a treasured memory indeed. Rei walked home very slowly, contemplating what Shinji had said to Ritsuko [I do not understand his response, it was almost as if he felt that Dr. Akagi had violated me in some way, it was always that way. Nothing was done to me per-say but, his answer, I.] her thoughts trailed off as she felt the pull, the pull to go and complete the mission she was given the first time she met the commander "Instrumentality, the time is very near then. The 16th will be here soon" she said, almost sad as she turned around and looked forlornly at the direction of Shinji's apartment [Till we meet again Shinji, my friend] she thought, that last part drove more tears from her eyes.  
  
Who wants to live forever, Who wants to live forever, Who dares to love forever, When love must die.  
  
The red numbers in front of Shinji's eyes would most likely reach him in his nightmares for many nights for they were counting down the remaining seconds of Rei Ayanami's life, it bothered him that such meaningless symbols were deciding the length of a person's life and that it was constantly shortening as he sprinted as fast as he could to try and save her [Almost there] he thought and stretched out to grab the plug which had been semi-ejected, a part of the plating was blocking it, BOOM!, the Eva carrying the girl that meant so much to him in ways he could not fully comprehend, exploded, a part of the plug struck him in the face as if to mock him for failure. The bridge crew stared at the motionless Eva 1, its hand still out stretched as if reaching for something that was visible only to its pilot who still felt the burning sensation in his hand from it being close to the blast, Misato had an inkling that the feeling would probably never go away, the only sound in the control room were the soft sobs of Shinji Ikari from the entry plug of Unit 1. As they cleaned it up, Misato looked at Unit 1, the eyes seemed to be wet and fogged up, [If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was crying too] she observed and went to see Shinji in his hospital room.  
  
But touch my tears with your lips, Touch my world with your fingertips, And we can have forever, And we can love forever, Forever is our today, Who wants to live forever, Who wants to live forever, Forever is our today, Who waits forever anyway?  
  
Instrumentality was easily the most nightmarish thing that Shinji had ever had the displeasure of experiencing; the giant Rei had frightened him beyond belief and now the strangest thing he could possibly imagine was happening: Rei was on top of him, at first glance it would appear that the pair were making love but it wasn't quite that, they were one being and one mind at this time and all they knew and felt was being shared, a bittersweet experience if ever there was one. Eventually Shinji opened his eyes and saw Rei smiling at him, smiling another ray of moonlight at him and his heart melted; he reached up and caressed her cheek "Hello Rei" he said, eliciting a smile from the girl "Hello Shinji, are you well?" she asked causing Shinji to chuckle "As well as can be expected" he said. They stood up, now clothed and looked out of a portal seeing the world destroyed by Evas "I have to go back, to save them Rei, I'd never forgive myself if I allowed this to happen" he said, Rei looked saddened by his comment and began crying again and lowered her head, so acting on an impulse he didn't understand, Shinji leaned in and kissed her tears away with his hand resting on her shoulder "I'm sorry, but I have to, they depend on me, I wish I could stay here with forever, if the earth didn't need me, I'd turn my back on them and never look back, but I must. Things are coming Rei, big and evil things, things that must be destroyed and it is now my belief after reflection and thinking that I believe I was chosen to do this, it is my destiny, I wish it weren't, I wish my destiny was with you at my side, but." he trailed off as Rei placed her index finger on his lips. She smiled sadly "I know; I'm an Angel and must be destroyed" she said as Shinji kissed her on the lips, giving her a feeling that she always wanted: happiness "Goodbye Rei" he said before slipping out of her grasp forever "I'll wait for you" she called back. The battle was over quickly, Shinji poured all his hate, rage and disdain into his fight, he and Asuka were hailed as heroes, but for all the lives saved by the pair that day Shinji felt like no hero, he failed to save the one life he wanted to save. At the funeral of said person, Shinji a song for her 'Don't You (Forget About Me)'. While alone at Rei's grave, Shinji sung a few bars of another song and left "Who wants to live forever, forever, is our today" he said as he walked into the night.  
  
The End 


End file.
